Anger its a beautiful thing.

Have you ever felt so angry over something, so overcome with emotion that its the only thing you can think of? Most of life's changes I can flow with, most things may cause me to pause but if for a brief second, and then I move on, but this, this has me dreaming of murder, Angry at every step. Breathing fire even when I don't have a cigarette between my lips. I guess its not only Anger but disappointment, feelings of no control. When someone makes a decision that you can't change and it is a Deal breaker, a Life changer, how do you just swallow it and say "cest la vie" I just wish there was a button to shut off all emotion. Wish that someone would loan me one of their bottles they shove everything into , so I too could choose not to feel. The other day I had a moment while by myself, driving down a country road and I yelled, I yelled at the top of my lungs, an almost demonic tone. I felt better, for a moment and then it came back. I guess its the time factor, everything takes time, time to heal time to grow time to destroy, nothing is done overnight. I'm still looking for the quick fix..... FML